Monday, December 01, 2008

Thanksgiving Family Gathering

I had the privilege of traveling to Louisiana with my husband and son to visit my extended family in Louisiana. We were just north of Lafayette in a town called Opelousas. Mom and Dad's parents are both there. I also have a few aunts, uncles and cousins there as well as in surrounding areas. There's plenty of people to see when we go there and not as much time as I would like. It's been quite and adjustment living 7 and 1/2 hours away as opposed to 4, when I lived in The Woodlands.

It was a fabulous week for me. Zachary also had a good time. Scott did as well and was able to go golfing with my Uncle Mark and cousin Blaise. I'm glad he's getting to know my family better.

There's many upsides to living in San Antonio. Scott has a great job, the schools seem to be pretty good with lots of opportunity, there's not too many hurricanes here, it's always sunny, I have some great friends here, we're close to Temple, Austin, Fredericksburg, College Station, and not too far from Corpus Christi (yay beach). We got a lot of entertaining things to do here and of course one of my favorite things...we're ten minutes from Sea World.

On the other hand there's lots of times when I wish I could drop by my grandparents house for a few minutes just to say hi, see my cousin's activities and games, go to more family events, co-lead sessions with my aunt who is a speech/language pathologist, attend some good old cajun dancing, and be back for Christmas (even though Scott's family is fun too). Stuff like that. I have a really difficult time leaving after visits.

On the way home from Thanksgiving at my Uncle Carl's house I was letting my emotions get to me. I was upset about being far, about us cousins not being as close anymore, my mom's parents seeming less active, and differences in opinion over various topics among the family. Just a lot of stuff at once. Scott gave me words of comfort as he drove us back to the house we were staying at. It's funny though, how kids know things sometime. Like they have some form of ESP. I was sitting next to Zachary in his car seat. He was quiet and during my moments of being upset he grabbed my hand and held it for the rest of the car ride. He may have just wanted to hold my hand, but I like to think that he was comforting me.

I do try to look at the positive things about living here and the things I CAN do to stay connected with my family. Thank God for technology and USPS.

Saturday, November 08, 2008

More Observations

Today Zachary and I went outside to water the garden in the backyard. We discovered that Sandy had thrown his automatic watering system in the yard (the ones you get at Walmart). So I went to pick up the two pieces of the base and was re-attaching them. In the meantime, Zachary had walked over to where Sandy had thrown the plastic top part that holds the water, carried all the way to the front of the steps, turned it upside down, grabbed the hose, and was attempting to try to fill it up although he didn't know how to twist the handle to make the water come out. Wow!

I just don't think about how much he actually takes in when he watches me do things. I'm glad he likes to help. I'm trying to take advantage of that as much as I can. He would still rather throw the towels on the ground that I have folded than help with that...but...one chore at a time :)

So many sweet moments of Mommy-hood. I'm starting to look more forward to the next Baby....but we're not pregnant yet, just to clarify :)

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Observant Little Ones



I say it all the time but it's true. Children grow so fast and surprise us all the time with how much they know. Zachary observes much more than I realize.

It was just last week that Zachary and I were hanging around upstairs on a cold morning not long after Scott left for work. We read books, played with various toys, banged on a few of Mommy's instruments and were lounging around. I was learning to work with our new ATT set up and using the upstairs remote in the process. Well of course, every 18 month old toddler would like the colorful, new looking remote that Mommy is using as opposed to the old, gray and black remote that he's seen every day he can remember. So Zachary would try to get me to hand him the one I was using, but I on the other hand tried to get him to use that colorless gray one. Instead of getting upset and throwing a fit like he's done in the past, he takes off, turns around, and slides down the stairs on his tummy.

"Okay??" I thought to myself.

A few minutes later Zachary returned from downstairs with a remote that matched the same one I was using which goes to the downstairs TV. I remember the sudden surprise that overcame me when I realized what he was holding in his hands. I congratulated him and praised him for his observation. We both sat on the floor and were both happy at that point with our colorful remotes.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Adult students with Mental Retardation Very Informed about Election

A music therapist sent a story out to our music therapy list serve about her adult students with mental retardation in her social skills class. I found it very moving and inspiring.

I've quoted her story below:



"I taught my social skills class today like I usually do (adults with
mild retardation; one or two with moderate retardation) and it was a
great experience; our theme of course was Election Day. All but one
voted (she is a Canadian citizen and so can't vote obviously). These
folks, even given their cognitive limitations, were far better
informed and asked better questions than most people. We walked about
how in other countries women often don't have the rights they do in
the US; and Amanda brought up that in some countries; people with
disabilities are killed or at best ignored. Touchy subject...so I
asked "why do you think it is that way?" Luigi said "because in those
countries they think people with disabilities are worthless and cost
too much money in education and services". This from a person with
autism......I told them I did not agree, and people in the US did not
agree generally with that--that people with disabilities can and do
contribute--just like they do. They knew most of the names of the
elected officials in our state (the main ones) and a lot of the
cabinet members. Made me want to study and read more as I realize I'm
not always as informed as I should be. These guys keep me on my toes!
I have a lot of respect for them.

Then we set up and decorated for a "get out the vote" luncheon and it
looked great when we were done. It is for everyone in the building
where these classes are held (the rest of the building are various
professional offices; so all those folks were invited to lunch.

Kathleen"

Friday, September 19, 2008

Family Tree


Back in May, my Great Uncle Lincoln visited San Antonio with a senior group from Atlanta, where he lives. They were just taking a trip.

Lincoln is my Dad's Mother's oldest brother. The oldest of 13. He obviously has a huge family with lots of nieces, nephews, great nieces, and great nephews. He's had some amazing accomplishments in his life. He's a military vet where he got some type of award, a teacher, writer, researcher....many things that I don't even know about. He also keeps track of the family address book. He's amazing and the best part is....he's 92 years old.

I hadn't seen him since I was 8 years old at my Aunt's wedding. When I was 5 or 6 he took the time to visit us when we lived in Casper, WY. I remember him coming to the museum and ice skating rink with us there. I remember him knowing a lot of information and being a lot of fun.

He made sure to get my cell phone number before leaving Georgia to come to San Antonio. He called ahead of time to check my schedule. He was very excited about visiting me. Me, a distant family member he hadn't seen in over 16 years.

They stayed on the other end of town. Scott, Zachary and I tried to visit on a Wednesday night at his hotel but his bus had broken down on their day trip touring and we missed each other that night. I got to see him the next night without Scott and Zachary which was disappointing, but that's the way it worked. They were staying about 30 mins from our house. I had forgotten the banana bread I had baked for him.

He was so excited to see me and he had his camera ready the minute I walked in to get a picture together. We had coffee together and we talked for over a couple of hours. The time went by fast and I could have talked to him all night. He's very oriented, funny, and interesting. He's had so many adventures in life. He remembered details about his visit to our house in Casper so many years ago. He also remembered details about the trip he took to my mother's classroom two years before. Her class had written him letters asking questions about his accomplishments in life. He was so excited he flew down to Houston. That night, he was hoping to see Zachary but it had been so late and hadn't worked out. They were leaving the next day in the morning.

He is so inspiring to me in so many ways. He's in his 90s yet is so active and full of life. He still loves to go dancing! Who says you're too old to keep going? He makes an effort to keep up with technology. He is excited about learning. He showed persistence in his accomplishments. And he knows the importance of family.

When we were talking he said multiple times that he thought family was so important. He talked about keeping up with the family directory and knew where so many of us lived. He said we always have each other no matter how far. Some families are not necessarily blood-related, but they've chosen to be there for each other and call each other family. He had made the effort to find me during his short visit to our city, sit with me, and reconnect.

The next day I decided to drive back up with Zachary and catch their bus before leaving. I brought that banana bread I had forgotten and best of all he got to see his 5th generation...Zachary. We got a great picture of that one! My grandmother was so excited that her brother had gotten to see us. I know my parents wish they could have been there also.

Family can be an amazing part of life. People we get together with to reunite and celebrate. People to share good times with during holidays and important events. Those we have to keep us going and fall back on in time of need. I guess in family we have our differences, but sometimes that's what makes family life so fun and interesting. Those differences also can allow us to help each other out. We somehow learn to work together through those and know each other on a deep level after coming together time after time. I guess even if it's been years and years, it's not too late.

Family, I miss ya'll a lot but I think of you often.


Monday, August 25, 2008

Beach Trip

We've spent a busy time this summer traveling here and there, to see family and friends. Even though the drives are long, the nap schedule gets off, you have to think way into the far future to plan many meals, and of course, gas prices aren't too friendly, it's all so worth it.

After our Lake Trip to see Scott's family we took a trip to visit my family at Orange Beach, Alabama. I'm a huge fan of the beach. Something about the sounds, the smells, and the serenity of walking along the coast. And then of course the sand castles, riding the waves, and tossing the Frisbee around. It's double the fun when lots of family or friends join in. Lot's of smiles, lots of ideas, lots of games, lots of conversation, and lots of opportunity to get to know each other. I like how we all pile in a couple of condos and learn what it's like to live with each other. Like Scott's family does during the summer and for holidays. There's always the necessity to take your own alone time and here at the beach, there were plenty of places to do that. I hope we can do this or something similar again someday and hopefully arrange it so more family can join in.



A Glimpse into Zachary's World

This was my first trip to the beach. I was 15 months at the time. I wasn't sure what to think of this strange brown and watery place. I discovered that the brown was a very strange substance that felt very funny falling between my fingers. The water was very salty. Not the same as what I drink out of my Sippe cups. After a while I decided it was fun. Paw paw taught me how to build some monster sandcastles. When the sun got too hot I would go swim in the indoor pool with Mommy or Daddy. Sometimes I would go play with Gramsie upstairs. There was a lot of people to play with me and give me snacks. I didn't play too much in the salty water, but I did enjoy having it run over my feet. I might like to try going back to the beach again one day.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Zachary and His New Friend

A Glimpse into Zachary's World

Mommy says she's sorry for the video starting out sideways.



One day, Mommy brought me to the Guerra library. It was great. There were so many books to pull off of the shelves. But there was more than books. We got to sing songs, listen to stories, and play games with other kids and their Mommies. We met Meredith and Mrs. Mollie. One day Meredith came over to play and we had a good time. You can watch some of our adventures.


Friday, July 18, 2008

Zachary's Busy Day

A Glimpse into Zachary's World

On a typical day, I have "things to do and places to go" as Granna says. I also have important things that need to stay with me at all times. It helps me get my exercise. Just take a look in this video Mommy took.

Mommy's Words
You know you must have children around when you find a kitchen pan in your closet or your socks with the Tupperware. Zachary makes me laugh when I notice what things he actually finds interesting, as opposed to the toys that I think would be totally cool, even for me! I often have to go on a wild goose hunt to find my hairbrush or the remote control.

The Lake Trip- June 2008

A Glimpse into Zachary's World

On June 18, 2008 we took our annual trip to the lake to visit Daddy's side of our family. I love going. There's so many people to hold me and play with me. I'm the youngest one but I still have fun with the other kids. Our first night there I decided that the camper was much too interesting to explore so I stayed up till midnight rolling on the bed while Mommy tried to keep her eyes open. I don't like my life jacket and I argue with Mommy and Daddy about wearing it so I didn't take any boat rides this time. I played in the baby pool and Granna even got in with me. I really like my Pop2 and my Granna. They are lots of fun and seem to know just what I need. I got to play with Aunt Michelle, Uncle Brian and Mr. Matthew too. We waved to Mommy and Daddy on the boat. I was sad that Uncle Kevin wasn't there but I'm hoping to talk to him on the phone soon.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Cleaning the Kitchen Floor

So I've been extremely frustrated trying to clean my kitchen floor ever since we moved into our house. The previous owners had tile put in which looks very nice but is a pain to clean. It seems like things just soak into the floor.

We also have our son who is this month, 14 months. Between him, my husband, and me cooking, we have a problem. The floor is always disgusting and you can feel it when you walk on it. In fact my feet are often black after walking in there. I know, it's bad.

I've tried many types of mops, some of them being the swiffer, swiffer wet jet and a sponge mop. There was still gunk impossible to remove even after I finished. I had to get on my hands and knees with all kinds of kitchen cleaners and a paper towel scrubbing away. It was taking too much time in my day.

I had come up with some combo that required a broom and two mops, but now Scott read online about something that works just as well.

New version
  • Sweep the floor
  • Mix a few tbsp of rubbing alcohol and vinegar with about a 1/2 gallon of water in a bucket. I now use microfiber towels (suggested by Mollie), on a swiffer or sponge mop. Sometimes I still have to get on my hands and knees with some good cleaning spray. And then for kicks sometimes I finish off with the swiffer. I'm so not secure with cleaning the floor (sigh).
Old Version
  • I begin by squirting the floor with a fantastic kitchen cleaner...Lysol Kitchen...recommended to me by my wonderful friend Brenda. It's the most amazing kitchen cleaner I've found yet.
  • I let it soak and then swiffer wet jet the floor, using the squirt on the wet jet as well.
  • Next, I use a mop I got from Bed Bath and Beyond. It is a rectangle with a sponge on one side and a mop material on the other. It sticks to the mop and comes off. I can toss it in the washing machine with my towels after finishing. I was the floor by dipping that in a bucket/sink of dish soap or mop soap.
So that's my best suggestion so far. Not perfect yet but helps a lot. anyone has anything better I'd love to know about it.
Back to my research for the day!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008


Persistence...This seems to be a major key word needed for teaching infants. Our cute little bundles of joy sure do require patience on the part of the caretaker. Of course they sure do bring lots of joy and excitement at the same time, but yes, lots of patience and the key...persistence.

Zachary will be a year old on Thursday April 24! Looking back on the past year, it does seem that time goes quickly. It is hard to imagine that Zachary was a tiny new born. Their rate of development in the first year is amazing.

The first persistence topic that comes to mind is food and eating. When we first started little Zachary on solid foods it took about a month to get him to eat his entire bowl of rice cereal on every try. We just kept offering. Starting him on veggies was no piece of cake either. At that point he was at least eating all of the rice cereal. After much frustration we still kept making it at every meal and offering. And then he flipped. He wanted veggies more than the cereal. Try try try some more.

One day he was taking both all the time quite well. And actually, he was taking anything I put on a spoon. Those were the days. Even when we started giving him soft solids such as cut up cooked carrots, peas, corn and so forth. This was awesome. It lasted a couple of months. At that point I started noticing veggies on the floor. I think it may have been a combination of texture and taste. He liked neither. I as a new mother and all was very surprised that he went from loving them to throwing them. He knew exactly which spoon and which bowl they came from also. The only one he would eat was potatoes. Apple juice hides quite a bit. So we continued to puree veggies and sneak them in the cereal, but only after offering a bit on a spoon.

One weekend I visited The Woodlands. I packed the easy baby food veggies to mix in with the cereal since pureeing on the road is not ideal. I as always offered some green beans on a spoon. To my surprise, he excepted a second bite. And a few more. So as of today he's still eating his green beans and potatoes. We have yet to move on to another veggie.

I guess the point to this story is persistence. It also applied to teaching him to drink from a sippie cup, teaching him to drink soy milk, insisting that he isn't moving while we get him dressed.....I guess it's all about telling ourselves not to give in or give up too soon. Sometimes I really have to convince myself and take a big leap of hope and faith, but it's true. They come around. Or so far that's been the case. I'm still very young and I'm learning every day all the time. If you every have suggestions for me PLEASE, drop a line.

I hope you get to enjoy them every day as much as I do!!

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

What do I eat if I'm nursing my infant with a milk or soy protein allergy?

"I don't know if we were just ignorant back then, or if the problem has really increased in the past 5 or 10 years".

Those were the words of our pediatrician during our 6 month well visit. He also mentioned that he now can hardly count the number of babies coming in with this milk protein allergy.

Our son Zachary has been a pretty healthy baby. As a stay-at-home Mom, I've been able to nurse him all of this time, even up until now. He is having his 11 month birthday this coming Monday.

When he was about 4 months old we attempted to try him out on some rice cereal. A few weeks later, we noticed that his stool was unusually runny and persisted for a few weeks. His primary doctor was out, but I was able to bring him in to see one of the other pediatricians in the office. After observing his diapers, she told me she found some microscopic blood which could very likely indicate a milk allergy. Since I was nursing, I she suggested that I stay off of milk products which could be passed to Zachary through the breast milk. We were sent to LABcorp and were given stool tests to be sure he didn't have some type of infection. They all came back normal and we saw the same doctor again when the problem continued. She sent us to a gastroenterologist.

The gastroenterologist told me that he could do an endoscopy and a signoidoscopy to find out what exactly was causing him to have problems. After that was all over and done with and the results from the biopsy came back, we determined that he was allergic to the protein in cow's milk. We still had not seen a large improvement since I had been off of milk and therefore told me that the next step would be to try getting rid of the soy products.

Which brings you to the point that you realize that nothing they sell in stores or cook in restaurants in made without soy or milk. Well....I guess "nothing" is a little extreme. But it's pretty close. I had no idea that we humans ate so much soy. I determined that, if it's packaged, it has soy. Crackers, cookies, cereals, cream of wheat, oatmeal, graham crackers, fish sticks, granola bars, already cooked frozen hamburger patties, bread, tortillas, malt o meal, ....yeah, it keeps going. Ice cream is the worst. Plenty of milk AND soy. Everything in the bakery likely has milk in it. Very little, but still there. There may be a few select items there that do not have milk but do have soy. Even cooking spray has soy in it. I searched through every brand and flavor at HEB, but found none soy free.

After I grived giving up chocolate and ever other dessert to be found, I looked forward to being creative and learning to be more healthy. I will tell you, this diet was amazing for my weight. I'm now below the weight I started with at the beginning of my pregnancy.

So what can you eat? Well, fruit and vegetables for starters. You can be creative with these. Beef, chicken, sausage, fish, eggs, beans, pretzels, marshmellows, honey, grits (in the can or Quaker....HEB brand and Hilcountry Fair has soy), jam/jelly, mustard, nuts, pasta noodles, fritos, and jello. Also, Life Ceral, Oatmeal Squares, Rice Chex, Rasin Brand, and a few other cerals are milk and soy free.

Bread- Rudi's Organic Bread is soy and milk free. It was the only one I could find free of both.

Skippy Natural Peanut Butter- soy free and still tastes good. There are other brands but they are pretty dry.

Rice Milk- Found at HEB or Kroger- I used this to eat my ceral in the morning and before bed time. It's one of my favorites.

Spagetti- Use regular tomato sauce, tomato paste. Other already made brands have the soy.
We came up with a regular dinner schedule of things we could cook without soy and milk. It was nice having Scott do this with me for the main course of meals.

Mondays- Taco Salad-hold the cheese
Tuesdays- chicken stew- chicken, potatoes, carrots, chopped green peppers, corn starch
Wednesdays- Leftovers or tuna/ PBJ sandwiches
Thursdays- Red beans and Rice- Dark Red Kidney beans, sausage, bay leaf, rice
Fridays- baked catfish

Making things from Scratch also allows you some variety. I was able to make banana bread from scratch. I used rice milk instead of milk, and apple sauce instead of oil/butter.

Jello- make jello squares for desserts. Use one large pack of flavored gelatin, a box of non-flavored gelatin and boiling water.

Cookies do not turn out quite the same without the butter or margarine. I did it, but no one else really cared to eat them except for me. Smart balance margarine is at least milk free. It does have the soy in there.

This is actually a great diet to help us start eating the right foods. It eliminates all of the packaged food which is filled with more sodium than we need. All we have to do now is get exercising and we're on our way to looking a feeling great.

We got to see our primary pediatrician for his well visits and follow ups. Like I mentioned before, he sees more babies than he can count with this problem. It is so common now and seems to be more prevalent now than in the years past for whatever reason.

Zachary is now tollerating milk products much better. I still drink rice milk to give him more time to out grow it, but he should be over it by the time he turns a year old or a few months after.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Weekly Cleaning-Why its good to have a routine

I came to thinking this weekend....I don't know what I would do without my weekly cleaning schedule. It's become an ingrained habit. I have 1 or 2 chores listed for each week day that I try to get accomplished after I get Zachary and I fed and dressed in the morning.

I used to just get done what I could in a day's time, but that always left me trying to do too much and getting overwhelmed because really, there's always something else to do. There were also some days when chores did not get done because of other random activities or tasks that came up. It slowed chores down and since I did not have a specific time set aside during the day it was easy to forget or miss because of other things going on.

So anyway, I love my cleaning routine that I've had for over a year now. I never feel like I HAVE to keep doing chores after the assigned chores are done, just because there may be things that need to be taken care of. I know that I will do them on an assigned day. I have them PROGRAMMED into my week.

My Sample Clean Routine
Mondays- laundry and ironing if the clothes are dry in time.

Tuesdays
- dust furniture, fans, and blinds (rotate upstairs and downstairs each week)

Wednesdays
- Mopping floors (kitchen, bathrooms, and laundry) and vacuuming (rotate upstairs and downstairs each week)

Thursdays
- Bathrooms

Fridays
- Kitchen cleaning (counters, microwave, table, blinds, sink, and stove)

These chores are the weekly chores. There are more chores that need to be done, oh, say once a month, and others that are like annual or bi annual chores.

I try to get the chores started while Zachary is awake and playing with toys in the morning, but sometimes if he needs my attention or it's just taking a long time, I finish up during his morning nap. When he gets older, I look forward to showing him how to do little things to help me. I'm hoping he will be willing to do so, even if it takes me a little longer to do them. Right now, he's into banging on the large round laundry powder bucket from Sams. It's a perfect height for him and he's entertained while I'm doing the laundry.

Getting started
When first starting this routine it may be difficult to feel confidence in it if you have not been keeping up with the chores. If you're dusting and it just seems like the dust is never ending, just do as much as you can within a certain time frame. In a weeks time, when it is time to do that chore again, it can't possibly be as bad as it was the first week and maybe you will be able to meet your goal.


  • Set Goals
  • Sit down and come up with a schedule.
  • Program this into your day. Decide when you will do chores and how long you have to do them.
  • Make it fun! Put on your favorite music and open the blinds to let in some light!
  • Imagine what a clean house will look like. A mental image can give you the motivation to get started and form a habit.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentine's Day!

Valentine's Day can be a bunch of hoop la if we let commercial buzz take over. But it CAN be a true heart warming day of opportunity to really let someone know how much they mean to you. This day is far from being only for romance. I know some people may think that it's easy for me to say since I'm married...but really...I remember being single. It hasn't been that long. If you're single, take the opportunity of being single to really focus on the people in your life that do mean a lot to you and let them know.

I can't count the number of people who I really owe a huge Valentine to.

Today is a great excuse (if you think you need one, but actually you don't) to actually say things you may have been wanting to say forever and a day. Today is the day you can even write a poem if you feel so moved to, which isn't something people do every day in this time. There's plenty of overwhelmingly creative ideas out on the web for gift ideas that won't cost us anything. The thought really counts today.

Let's set a challenge to make the words you are able to say today, once a year on Valentine's Day, words that you say the other 364 days of the year to all the people you love.

A few quotes for Valentine's Day:

"Love is a mustard seed planted by God and watered by man" Muda Saint Michael

"Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner"- Amy Bloom

"Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone-we find it with another" --Thomas Merton

"So be imitators of God as beloved children, and live in love, as Christ loved us and handed himself over for us..." Ephesians 5:1

"Love is my decision to make your problem my concern" --Robert Schuller


"It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else" Erma Bombeck

"My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me".
Jim Valvano

"If you were waiting for the opportune moment, that was it" -- Jack Sparrow

"The most intimate form of community is family" Fr. Payne

"Love is like a mountain, hard to climb, but once you get to the top the view is beautiful"--Daniel Monroe Tuttle

"Love is a decision not an emotion or feeling, that if made from the heart will outlast anything..." --Raul and Samantha Juarez

"Love is more than a feeling. It's a state of mind" --Lisa Grude

For Valentine ideas:
http://www.parenthacks.com/

To all of the people I owe a heartfelt Valentine to:
My parents, who brought me here, my brother, who was my favorite source of entertainment growing up, Scott, my amazing husband, my Zachary, my first and adorable son, Kathryn, a perfect fit for a sister in law, Priscilla, a you won't find a more welcoming sweet mother in law, David, my makes me laugh and is always in the best mood father in law, Michelle, another perfect fit sister in law with smiles and giggles, Brian and Kevin, you couldn't ask for more fun and any better brother in laws, my grandparents, Hazel and Joe, Becky and Berch, Nanny and Poppie, Aunts Debbie P., Linda, Janet, Charlotte, Myra, Liz, Lana, Amaryllis, Christine, Mimi, Debbie D., Cindy, Sue, Ann, and one I haven't met, Uncles Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Carl, Ronnie, Jake, Mark, Mike, Mike, Tom, Jim, and one I haven't met-Dean, cousins (oh gosh here we go) Renee, Jonathan, Stephanie, Jenny, Eric, Andrew, Ryan, Ross, Michael, Jade, Maggie, Annalise, Joe, Nick, Cherie, Rebecca, Adam, Christiane, Brandi, Cody, Madeleine, Blaise, Rhyn, Paula, Matt, Laura, Becca, Sarah, Bill, John, Annie, Paul, Joe, Gracie, Emma, Katie, Maggie, and Ben, friends.....there's so many of you......Kari, Tricia, Scott E., Kelly, Katie, Brenda, Allison, Suzanne&David, Becky, Drew, Leanne, Ginny, Emily, Melissa, The Bakers, The Thomas', The Johns, The Bienvenue's and so many more.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Choosing for ourselves

This morning I was listening to EWTN to hear today's Word. Fr. Mitch Pacwa was giving the sermon. I love that he explains things so well, he's so genuine and he really knows how to apply the word to our every day situations.

He was talking about judgment today. It had to do with a reading from the Book of Jonah (3:1-10) and Jesus' discussion of Jonah in the Gospel of Luke 11. To me it seems that there are 2 extremes of judgment. It can happen that someone labels everyone they meet with numerous different criticizims of how they are as a person and someone that won't judge anyone in a sense that they won't say whether or not something is right or wrong because they are afraid of criticizing at all. Sorry that was a major run-on.

Fr. Mitch clarified a few things in the sermon today. He said that we, of course, do not have the right to judge someone's soul. We don't know what is to become of them in any afterlife. We don't know their intentions, their past, their issues, their state of mind, and we can't see the inside of their hearts. We just can't know that. We can't say that they are "a bad person" or that they are "unworthy" of anything.

He also said that we DO need to judge BEHAVIOR. We can decide whether or not an action is right or wrong. He discussed the fact that God WANTS us to use the minds he gave us. He gave us free will and wants us to be creative beings. It's important that we study, learn, explore, and seek. So it's important for us to judge behavior for ourselves. We should decide whether or not an action is appropriate or inappropriate. I'm also a believer in teaching our children the "why", not just telling them "you can do this" or "you can do that". They must learn how to decide for themselves. That seems to be one of the most basic necessities in living on your own; learning to make your own choices and how to make good ones. I believe God gave us that responsibility in teaching them. I'm a new mother. My first child is not even a year old yet and I know I'm far from perfect so this will be a challenge for me to carry out well. I do believe in doing it though and I intend to try my best.

Fr. Mitch also discussed how much he loves science and supports the continuation of exploration. It seems to me that he believes that God put us humans here of course to do good, but also to explore the earth and use our minds to the best of our ability. He sees how much science points to the beauty of God's creation.

Thank you Fr. Mitch for inspiring me in decision making and giving me more appreciation for my faith.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Motivation to do anything

I guess we don't really think about all of the little things that motivate us to do pretty much anything each day, from getting up in the morning to going to bed at night. I don't always think about the fact that we have to have something motivate us to make our feet hit the floor in the morning. For me, its usually my son's voice on the monitor letting me know that it's time for breakfast. Anyone who works must have some drive in order to go. I guess that could be money and hopefully a love of what you get to do there. Motivation to do things like eat, have never been a problem for me. I'm glad to eat, especially if its chocolate flavored. Going to bed is never a problem either. I like my sleep and I want enough of it. I know that there are some people who struggle with one, two or even all three of those basic necessities.

My family celebrates lent every year. It's a great time to take a deeper look at ourselves and find room for improvement which effects us and those who are part of our lives. Making some type of sacrifice also gives me more appreciation for what God did/does for us. Usually I give up desserts which always does me a lot of good and gets me back into better eating habits.

This year, I chose something different. First of all, I gave up desserts and pretty much all packaged food when I went on the "no milk, no soy" diet for Zachary when we found out he had an allergy to the protein in milk and possibly soy. So instead, I'm trying to do little tasks that I'm usually not motivated to do around the house right as they occur. For example instead of a letter lying around that I need an address for, I make myself look it up right away rather than putting it off because I "don't feel like it" which is something I often do. A lot of times I don't even realize I'm doing it. So far, I feel more productive, organized, and less stressed. Also, people appreciate my promptness if it involves them. Especially Scott. The task really doesn't take more than a few minutes. It forces me to make decisions that I put off whether its finding a place for something in the house or deciding if I'm going to attend a shower I've been invited to so I can mail off the response. I'm hoping to make this a permanent habit.

Having motivation seems to me, to have a lot to do with the way we look at ourselves. If we have a skewed view of ourselves and our worth, we may not see much reason to get up in the morning. I think its important to remember that we are important and deserve happiness because of the fact that we exist in this world, not because of our success, our looks, and our social status.

Dr. David Burns in his book "Feeling Good" talks about how you can change the way you feel if you can change the way you think.

An intense lack of motivation can make any task seem difficult. You don't feel like doing anything because you feel bad. You may feel even worse because you aren't getting things done. It's a vicious cycle.

Dr. Phil has some great advice for a "Formula of Success". Two of them relate to becoming motivated. These are "passion" and "vision". Make a list of things that you were once passionate about or may be now. Have a vision of what goals you want in life. If you are struggling with both of these you may want to seek professional help from someone who can help you discover why you aren't passionate and how to fix that.

If you struggle with lack of motivation to do little tasks like me, join me in the challenge of taking care of these tasks as they occur (as long as priorities allow, such as feeling children :).

To read more advice from Dr. Phil go to:
http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/15







Monday, January 28, 2008

Cleaning Clutter

How I cleaned clutter our of my life and a few tips to go with it.
(Tips listed below)

I grew up as a pack rat. I wanted to keep everything that had sentimental value, things I thought I could use later, things I thought were just too cute that I couldn't get rid of it and therefore found a way to "make fit" in my room.

I accumulated quite a bit and actually more than I could handle. In high school I made a point every summer to clean out my entire room. I re-arranged decorations, cleaned out drawers, my closet, shelves, and under my bed. The ladder stayed in my room for about 3-4 weeks. It was fun and felt good to organize. I often got overwhelmed at times though. I still was keeping to much because of all of those reasons at the top of the page and I was trying way to hard to make everything fit. I had pictures, old school projects, artwork, things people drew or made for me, sentimental nick nacks......all kinds of stuff.

When I moved to college I was happy to have a new place to start over with decorating. I left the clutter at my house and took only what I needed to my dorm room and later...apartment. Even over time at my apartment I had just a little more than I cared to. That problem was mostly old bank statements, papers, notes from class, and other paper things that I just either needed to get rid of or organize somehow.

Fortunately, I met someone to date who was big on simplicity and only keeping what he used or needed. He had a few sentimental items and things from when he was a child, but not quite as much as me. When we got married and combined our stuff we had to come up with a new organization system. Our apartment had all kinds of clutter piles or drawers. It was when we moved into our house about 6 months after being married that we tackled the problem.

I've had a few influences since then that have changed my perspective on what to keep and what to get rid of.

1. Oprah Show- I saw a show within the past year about a family who kept EVERYTHING and had to have a professional come in with a team of people to help them get rid of stuff and organize their house.

2. Book- Living the Simple Life: A Guide to Scaling Down and Enjoying More by Elaine St. James (She also writes another one called Simplify Your Life).

3. My parents house- And they know I think this. It has more decorations and stuff than I care to have.

4. My husband

5. Other communties


1. The Oprah Show

It inspired me to write down a few things that this professional said. I can't remember his name right now. I'll have to go back and find it. Here's a few tips he gave. They aren't all word for word. I tried my best to write what he said.

  • Decide that you want to change.
  • Your stuff does not define you.
  • Look at your stuff in a new way. Do you need this to survive? Is this who you are? Is there really room for this here or am I just trying to make it fit? Is it logical to keep this?
  • See the vision you want and stick to the limits.
  • Respect the limits of your space
  • Honor your stuff. Display with honor.
  • Clutter can tear your family apart. Your home is a place to be with family. Allow your mind to be on the family.
  • Too much stuff can be a health hazard. You aren't able to clean properly. Your stuff is not worth your health.
  • Too much stuff robs you of a peace of mind.
  • Freedom of stuff. Stuff or your life? It's a choice you have to make everyday.

2. Living the Simple Life

The book by Elaine St. James, Living the Simple Life, was very good for me. Not all of the chapters applied to me, but plenty of them did. She gave very logical and easy to do tips. Each of the chapters are very short. By that I mean you can each one in less than 5 minutes. Some are only 1-2 pages. I'm currently reading this book to my mother on the phone. It's nice to share ideas on the topic. I highly recommend the book.

3. My Parents House

Well, I had the vision of what I did not want my house to look like because I knew that my mother's decorating style was not how I would prefer to decorate my own home. I like my things a little bit simpler. That's fine, not everyone is the same. My husband is even more simpler than I am. If it were up to him we wouldn't have any curtains, nick nacks, things on a table, and maybe 1-2 decorations on the wall in each room. The house would be pretty empty :) Having the vision of what I want is absolutely necessary. It helps me to set goals for myself and motivates me to get rid of more. What I keep fits in the limits we set. I'm still to this day trying to clean out my room at my parents house. I haven't been able to clean the whole thing in one visit.

4. My Husband

Scott has been quite a good motivator. Sometimes I do tire of hearing, "Can we get rid of this?", but I know he's trying to help the household and has great intentions. When we moved into our house and got everything unpacked, we decided to tackle one room a week.

Scott tried very hard to be patient with me. He would ask, "Do we really need this?" and I really had to give it thought. We also worked together to come up with organizational systems. It's a good time to get to know each other and work together as a family. This also will help us teach our children from an early age to organize and not keep too much clutter.

We keep a file cabinet for important documents. We have labels for each folder which includes, Child medical, our medical, insurance, bank, savings account, investments, car (for each one), auto insurance, internet/cable/phone, water, electricity, property tax, memberships, and Scott's work. We also keep a separate drawer for warranty info.

I subcontract music therapy and work in client homes. I also have a drawer at home in our file cabinet for organizing my interventions/activities, etc. I keep a small portable, locked file box for any private info for work.

We try to come up with systems that allow us to minimize the amount of stuff we have on the floor or cabinets. It also makes it easier to dust (I'm highly allergic).

If I'm going to open the mail then I have to do something with it which includes recycling, filing, mailing back response, etc. If I don't then piles build and so does irritation for Scott. I try to remember that I'm not only invading my own space, but his space too. If I can't take care of it right away then I don't open it at that time and leave it in the mail spot.

We also have a separate can for recycling right next to the trash can downstairs and upstairs. That helps me to not leave it sitting out if I don't want to keep running up and down the stairs.
Scott and I appreciate that we can have a feeling of freedom by not having too much clutter around the house and that we work together as a team to achieve our goals.

5. Other communities

One other thing that helps me to look at my stuff differently is thinking about cultures or communities that live more simply and are still very happy. Some choose to live that way and some do because they can't afford to have a lot. Either way, I remember that someone could be using the thing that I'm keeping for a "not very good" reason or I just plain don't need it to be happy.